Do you know everything you have ever wanted, everything you ever dreamed of is already a part of you? Like a perfect little gift waiting to be unwrapped. Do you know the only person keeping you from your highest potential is yourself? It’s not your spouse, your partner, your children, your job, your parents, your friends or your run of bad luck, it’s YOU.
Stay with me here even though that may have made you feel a bit defensive. That is our natural reaction to things that we do not like to hear. However, it is 100% true.
What would happen if we spent a quarter of the time we use spending on others to develop and nurture a personal relationship with ourselves?
What would happen if we stopped being so hard and negative and started showing a little more compassion to ourselves?
What would happen if we took responsibility for our actions and stopped blaming everyone else?
What would happen if we stopped comparing ourselves to others and stopped the self-abuse?
What would happen? Well you would have the ability to rise to your highest potential. Literally nothing could stand in your way. Sounds amazing, right?
By implementing the following steps, I have come to a place of peace and love with myself and I believe without a doubt this is possible for you too!!
- Becoming your own best friend
- Being patient
- Accepting responsibility for your actions
- Accepting yourself as you are right now
- Putting yourself first
- Understanding no one is responsible for your happiness
We will start by covering the first two steps and the remaining steps will be broken out into parts 2 and 3.
Becoming your own best friend
Hard to comprehend? I know…. We spend most of our days talking so negatively to ourselves. We don’t like what we see in the mirror, we don’t like how our body feels when we touch it, we don’t like how our clothes fit and we don’t like our lack of energy or motivation.
We say very ugly things to ourselves. We are constantly looking outwards towards someone or something to make us feel better. We also put unrealistic expectations on our partners or friends to lift us up and make us happy.
When we are at this point of self-hatred, it is the most important time to start looking inward and start treating ourselves as we would our best friend.
The first thing to put into perspective is, would your best friend accept the self-abuse you project onto yourself? Not no, but a big hell no! It’s time to start thinking of ourselves differently. When you start the negative self-talk, STOP at that moment and ask yourself if you would say that to your best friend?
No? Ok if your best friend was experiencing what you are going through, what would you say to that person? Would you show compassion and love towards him or her?
Each time you start getting down on yourself, think of your best friend and how you would lift their spirits and practice this on yourself. Everyday take one small step toward telling yourself something positive.
Anytime we set out to make changes in our lives we expect immediate results. And when we don’t do things perfectly to plan, what happens?
We get down on ourselves and start up the negative self-talk. What is wrong with you, why is your willpower lacking, why did you eat the whole bag of chips or drink the whole bottle of wine? You are weak and never finish anything you set out to accomplish! You are a failure!!
I don’t know about you but writing that made me super uncomfortable and I am sure it made you feel the same. But here’s reality, we do talk to ourselves like this, however we fail to realize one thing. We are human and humans make mistakes.
The important thing to understand is if we always got it right the first time, we would not have any experiences to learn from or make improvements on.
Don’t think of it as failure, but an important learning experience and honestly that shit takes time!! Be patient and always think of change as practice. So if you mess up, it’s ok!! Recognize why, learn from it and keep on practicing.