I AM ENOUGH!

Mya (11)

After posting the Self-Acceptance Series at the end of April, I felt so inspired that I declared May the month of Self-Acceptance.

Why?  Because it is the largest piece of the puzzle when making life long positive changes whether it’s in personal life, business, fitness or nutrition.  Being able to accept yourself and cutting yourself some slack at times is so HUGE!!

I’ll share some personal history on how I was able to accept that I AM ENOUGH.

My mother got pregnant with me when she was a teenager, I believe in a way it was her way out of a very dysfunctional family.  She and my father married but ended up divorced before I was born.  My mother remarried and moved to Oklahoma, where she raised me and my brother for the duration of our childhoods.

By the second grade she and her then husband divorced and went onto raise us as a single mother.  I saw my father for 1 month during the summer and every other Christmas holiday.  We didn’t communicate much on the phone in between these visits.  I really longed for a relationship with my father, but his presence was not consistent, it was very sporadic.  Usually included filling my hopes so high, but crushing them with no follow through.

I didn’t have anyone close to me in Oklahoma that filled this void, I didn’t have a fatherly figure in my life at all.  Looking back this became very apparent during my teen years.  My body developed very early and all of a sudden I was receiving a lot of attention from boys.  I craved this attention so much and thrived off of it.

As I grew older, my father became extremely critical in anything I was or was not accomplishing.  Nothing was ever good enough.  When I would come to him with excitement about something, he would not acknowledge my efforts, instead he would tell me how I could have done it differently.  I always felt anything I did was not good enough in his eyes.

Growing up, children and teens are so impressionable.  I know for me, I began to believe I was not good enough.  Since my body was receiving so much attention, I thought this was the only way I would be accepted.

This thought ended up spiraling out of control.  I was obsessed with being liked by boys, so I in turn obsessed over exercise and restricting food. I eventually broke free from this obsession, but my self-acceptance part was still lacking.

I landed in several relationships that just were not right for me because I lacked self-confidence and was scared to not be in a relationship.

So how did I overcome making poor choices from the need of being accepted?

I finally took a long hard look at my life and decided I simply don’t accept it for myself.  I was sick and tired of feeling gross in my skin.  Changes needed to be made but I knew no one else could do it for me.  Trust me I tried that route, only major disappointment is involved.

Mantra Enough

A few things had to occur: 

  • I walked away from my father for over 2 years
  • I ended a very toxic relationship with someone who was only interested in me for sex
  • I chose not to be in any relationship until I was fully confident in myself and who I was
  • I started eating to nourish my body  
  • I started lifting heavy weights

So much self-work was done.  I was finally investing in myself for all the right reasons.

I did not allow my father to come back into my life until I felt emotionally strong enough.  To this day I have boundaries.  He too has grown and learned from this experience.  I don’t blame him for what I have gone through after all he was a teenager when I was born and my mother moved us to a different state when I was just a toddler. 

This is life and we are all dealt our hand of issues.  I could have blamed all my problems on my childhood and used it as a crutch not to grow as a person or I could choose NOT to be a victim of circumstances.   I am not a victim.

When I finally believed I AM ENOUGH, a whole new world and opportunities opened up for me.  I love my body and all the amazing things it does for me daily.  How selfish would I be to not give back and help it thrive?

So in order for me to get to this place, I had to get so fed up with myself and my choices.  I had to accept responsibility for my actions.  I had to learn, grow and change.

And I thank GOD that I did!!

So what is stopping you from believing YOU ARE ENOUGH? 

Think about it, deal with the issues and start becoming the best you possible!!  You absolutely deserve it!!

 


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#strongertogether #liftingyourmindandbody #iamenough